It is not easy to have emotionally unavailable men in your life. It makes your life a bit challenging.
But just to say not everyone is perfect and you kind of have to accept this fact.
Whether it is the women or men, their emotional unavailability becomes difficult for their partner.
In the case of women, if she is emotionally unavailable then this may not affect a man much.
Because men are not either quite expressive when it comes to emotions. So, that kind of balance the whole situation.
But if a man is emotionally unavailable then this thing really affects the woman.
Women want to have a partner who understands her feelings, her mood swings, her needs and wants. She has several emotions that she goes through at the same time.
And if her partner doesn’t understand her emotions or doesn’t share what he thinks and feels, then it becomes difficult for her to handle this awkward situation.
Signs Of Emotionally Unavailable Men
Today let’s look into the signs that your man is probably emotionally unavailable.
He Does Not Share His Feelings
Your partner, boyfriend, or husband, does not open up to you about his feelings. He would ask you, that how you are doing but would never let you know how he feels. He is either this way emotionally unavailable to you or he won’t even take an interest in your emotions as well.
Either way, emotional sharing is missing.
He Feels Uncomfortable When You Are Emotional
He becomes silent or just tries to avoid the whole situation when you are emotional or being stressed. Such a man feels uncomfortable in such a situation. He does not know how to behave in such circumstances. He would either try to avoid you or would respond in an unusual way. Either way, you won’t get the satisfaction from his response.
Maybe his silence works out for you as at least he would listen to you.
He Is Not Open About His Past
His past is a mystery to you. He never let you go into his past. Whenever you ask him about it, he makes excuses or talks you out of it by saying “there is nothing special to talk about” or “why are you so interested in my past, do you have any doubts?”
Such kind of statements makes you guilty about asking such a question. You feel as you are accusing him of something. In this way, his past remains an unsolved and unknown mystery to you.
He Opts A Sarcastic Way Out
yes, He tries to opt for the sarcastic way to get away with emotional situations. He won’t sit next to you and console you. He would rather choose to be sarcastic about it and will try to get you out of that condition by being all funny and carefree.
For once in a while, this strategy may work but in the long run, it will be irritating for you and you would rather like to remain silent, then to express your feelings.
He Is Not Easy To Get Along With
is not quite easy going at first. He takes his time to get along and he tries to stay unattached and unbounded.
He is afraid of making a long term commitment. Such a person doesn’t care about being attached to something emotionally. He feels fine in just being there, physically and mentally. Emotional presence doesn’t appeal to him much.
In other words, you can say it like “no feelings attached.”
You Are The Effort Maker
You are the one making all the efforts required to keep the relationship alive.
Whether it is planning the birthdays or anniversary. Or making him feel special and important.
You are the only one making all such efforts.
You know that the day you will back off from all these things, it won’t even bother him and he won’t get affected by it. Neither would he take over your place.
You remember the special dates, you are the first one to apologize, irrespective of whose fault it is. When bearing his tantrums. It’s all you keep the relationship going.
How To Love An Emotionally Unavailable Men
Here are some points that will help you how you can handle a such person and how you can love him.
Express Your Needs To Him
To love an emotionally unavailable man, you need to first make him realize that you have some expectations from him that he must know and understand.
Express your needs to him. Tell him what you want physically as well as emotionally.
You don’t need to be rude or angry while letting him know but do it with art.
The art could go like you tell him that “I missed you today.” While holding his hands or by hugging him.
Or you can say, “I am feeling low, I wish I could tell someone what I feel like.”
These are the probes that you will do to him. if he will understand you or will give you his time and attention then you got him.
If he doesn’t bother your feelings and expression of your emotions then it is fine to sometimes express your anger as well just to make him realize that what wrong he is doing.
Stop Fixing Or Healing Your Man. Accept His Flaws As It Is
Sometimes the best way to deal with something that bothers you, is it leave it as it is.
It’s not always possible or worth it to fix everything according to your wishes and wants. Sometimes you have to accept the reality as it is.
So, here you will have to stop fixing his emotions and stop healing him for what he doesn’t consider as suffering.
It must be difficult at times but the best way to accept it and to make your heart satisfied with it is to remember the good things that he has.
The good habits, the good and attractive traits of his personality.
By weighing his good traits at one hand and his emotional absence in the other, you would probably be able to get satisfied with his good traits.
Another way is to remember and know that no one is perfect and that your man lack emotions.
Other than that he is all you want. And list down your good and bad points as well. This will show you that you are also not perfect.
This will ease and help you accept everything as it is.
Maintain And Build A Strong Emotional Connection With Your Family Or Friends
When your man is emotionally unavailable, you can look for other people to give you what is lacking from your love or married life.
After the realization and acceptance of the fact that your man is emotionally unavailable and there is nothing, you can do to make him right.
Also, it is overshadowed by his other good traits, then you can be built an emotional bond with your family or friends.
It could be your close friend/friends, or your immediate family members (mother, sister, etc.).
Make it bond so strong that whenever you are emotionally disturbed or restrained, you go to them for sharing.
This will help you bond with your man as well because you won’t be putting all your expectations on him and you would know that he is not the one with whom I need to share my extreme emotions.
Show Patience And Flexibility
In dealing with your emotionally unavailable men you need to be very patient and flexible.
At times it is not easy to be around someone unable to understand your emotions.
But here you have to be patient and should show flexibility especially when you know that he is trying to be better in emotional handling.
Knowing that he is in the process of improvement and that he realizes that he is emotionally unavailable and wants to get better with it. Then it is very important to play your part here as well.
You need to be calm, patient, and flexible as this is the only choice you have in order to make him win his battle.
Keep A Check On His Emotional Growth And Progress
When he is trying to get better and to work on his emotional growth then you need to keep a check on his progress.
This will not only help you with patience but also will give him the motivation and encouragement to keep moving.
Let him know that he is doing great if there is any progress. And if there is no progress then let him know.
Ask him to try it differently or chose another approach. But remember to always encourage and motivate him.
If you would lose hope then he would definitely lose it as well. Especially if he is trying to better after your request.
Be An Example For Him
The best way to teach him the emotional availability, you would need to practice this by yourself first.
Be an example for him and your kids. Make such an environment of your home that shows the importance of emotions in life and for human beings.
You can treat him and your kids with care and understanding when they need you emotionally, instead of scolding them and making them feel bad.
By watching you being emotionally available for everyone at home will somehow trigger his inner self to do the same. So, be a role model for him and also for your kids.
Fight For Your Right
Fight for your right means that do always let him know where he went wrong.
Where and when you needed him but he didn’t show you support and was unavailable emotionally.
Some men understand your silence and silent anger but some men do need a constant realization.
If your man does not understand even after your probes then let them know.
Then even though it is by love or understanding or by anger or fight. Because letting him go without any realization is also not fair to yourself.
It is your right to let him know about your needs, whether it is physical or emotional.
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There do exist emotionally unavailable men. All you need to do is to know who they are. And how to deal with them. Some need love and others need the realization. You need to identify yours.
Best of luck.