How To Break Up With Someone 9 Rules & 6 Steps

Breakup by its name is a terrifying thing. To break up with someone means to cut off someone who is or was very close to your heart. Most of the time breakup is not an easy thing to do and the breakup scene appears to be ugly. For some people, it is a relief and for some, it is a pain. In this article, we will discuss How to break up with someone.

If you are the one who wants to get rid of this toxic relationship then maybe it would not bother you how things end and how the whole breakup scene appears to be. But if you are not happy with the breakup then it will be more difficult for you to end everything at once and forever. This is where you need guidance and assistance in getting it over without causing any more damage or in other words doing it respectfully. The reasons for the breakup could be many but ending it well is what we are focused on here. ( these steps apply for both boys and girls, but I am using He, his, and him to avoid excessive wording).

Rules How To Break Up With Someone Respectfully

Let’s look for ways how to break up with someone.

Rule #1 Be Clear And Know Your Reasons

The first thing before breaking up is to know the exact reason why you want a breakup.

What are the main factors behind it? Are those factors unsolvable? Why you are making this decision?

Are you taking this decision consciously? Are you ready for all kinds of responses?

These are the questions that you need to ask yourself. You have to be honest with yourself about these questions. Getting answers would help you take further decisions. If you still decide to go with the breakup decision then at least now you can think about the further plan to deal with it.

Rule #2 Prepare The Words And Think Of All Possible Reactions

Now comes the stage where you decide what you want to say. The words shouldn’t be harsh or unclear. The message should reach the other person clearly yet it would not sound loud or nasty. Avoid using the taunting tone of the blame game. Maybe your partner responds very aggressively but you have to keep calm, this is what you are getting prepared for. The reaction of your partner could be sad, angry, may cry, and may give you F*** word, or may feel relieved. You have to be prepared for all kinds of reactions.

how to break up with someone

Rule #3 Let Him/Her Know Your Intentions

It’s time to talk to him/her and tell him about the decision. Let him/her know the reason behind your breakup decision and that it has nothing to do with his personality or physical being. You can start the conversation by telling him about his good traits and how you loved him but there are some issues that are annoying me and I want a breakup. You can say You are such a nice and genuine person. Your honesty and sweetness are remarkable. Never change your personality, especially for anyone else. This will give them a bit of relief and may their anger or sadness lower down a bit. And in the long run, this thing will give them the courage to move forward in life.

Rule #4 Tell The Truth

You must tell your partner about the truth behind taking the decision of breaking up. No matter how hard and sensitive it is. It is the way you will say, will cover up for you. You have to choose the words very consciously and they shouldn’t be hurtful.

You can add, You and I are different personalities and we want different things in life. I fear I may not be supportive of your choices and that would make me feel bad. I want you to achieve everything you want in life. Hope you understand.” This is how you can say your thoughts without being harsh.

how to break up with someone

Rule #5 Discuss It With Someone You Trust

If you need someone to discuss your decision then go for it. But choose someone you can trust. The one who will not let your partner know about your feelings and plan before you tell him/her directly. You can talk to your best friend, your mother/father, or your siblings.

Sharing your feelings will help you get lighter inside your heart. Your confidence will make this procedure a bit easier to go through and would help you in the recovery period as well. You can take advice from your friends if you want to. Or just have them console you.

Rule #6 Do Break Up In Person

An important point to keep in mind is to break up in person. Don’t do it over a phone call or over a text message. Meet him/her personally and then say what you wanted to say. It would be best to talk to him/her personally because both would be able to understand each other’s points.

Doing it over text messages may cause miscommunication and makes it difficult to know in what tone and sense the message gets conveyed. Research shows that most fights happen due to the misconception of the tone. The other person considered it a rude reply though it was just a simple reply. Another important point you must consider is, not to do it in public. Don’t make such a mistake of breaking up in a public place. It can be humiliating for both of you. So, choose a place where you both will feel comfortable talking openly and expressing yourself properly.

break up is very hard quote

Rule #7 Listen To Your Partner As Well

 The one mistake that most people make is, after breaking up they don’t listen to their partner’s outburst. They just try to cut out all the connections and don’t allow their partner to express their feelings, whether it is anger, shouting, crying, or anything. You have to allow your partner to say whatever they want to. This will help you both get closure and move on in life. Surely not instantly but at least in the peace of mind.

Rule #8 Don’t Put Yourself Into A Difficult Conversation

Putting yourself at the hotspot will cause problems for you. Don’t get indulged in deep and difficult conversations that you may regret afterward.  Also don’t disrespect your partner. Neither at the time of the breakup nor after the breakup. Don’t gossip and backbite about him/her. You don’t have to be all positive about your ex but no need to be negative as well.

Rule #9 Give It A Proper Closure

Don’t leave things open-ended. Give it a proper closure. It will become more difficult for you if you will leave things open-ended or would accidentally leave some hopes behind for your ex. Make sure you end the relationship properly and remain no ambiguity about your final decision. Use clear words, the words that deliver a clear message rather than using double-meaning words.

Say it like “So it is over for us. Wish you the best for your future. Bye” rather than saying it like “I guess it’s time to say bye. Hope to see you again someday.”

6 Steps How To Break Up With Someone

Another very important question that many people ask is what to say, what words to choose, and which way to adopt to break up with someone.

Let’s look into it.

1- Start the conversation

Start the conversation by saying, you have to talk about something important. You can use the positive things in the initial stage of the conversation. The things you value or like about him/her. You can say “We have spent some really good time together and it was important to me”

Or “I am glad that we got to know each other.”

“The time we have spent together is something I will always cherish.”

2- Tell him/her what went wrong (the reason behind breaking up)

You can say “But right now I am not ready to be in a serious relationship”

“There are more fights than the love, which we once had.”

“ I cannot even think of being in a relationship with someone who has cheated on me. “

quotes on breakup with someone

3- Confess you want to break up:

“I don’t think I can continue this relationship”

“I want to end our relationship”

“We can stay friends, but I cannot go out with you anymore”

“I don’t want to be your GF/BF, but we can be friends”

4- Tell him/her you are sorry and you know it hurts

“I didn’t intend to hurt you”

“ So I am sorry if this hurts you”

“I am sorry if you don’t want things to go this way”

“It is not easy for me as well, but this is the right decision.”

“I understand it’s not easy to hear this”

5- Say positive or kind words :

“I know it will be all fine in some time”

“I am happy that I got a chance to be with you, to know you.”

“You are such a kind and nice person, you will find someone you will love forever.”

“I know we will be there for each other in hard times”

“I know God has planned something better for you.”

how to breakup with someone

6- Cut down content with him/ her

Don’t be surprised if he/she gets upset or angry with you. After the breakup cut all your contacts with your ex, if not forever then at least for some time till you both get over each other. Being in contact would help you in moving on but will keep you hooked up for each other. So, cut down all your connections with your ex and give yourself some time to see forward in life.

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Breaking up is very difficult but if it is not done right or on good notes then it hurts even more. Use the above-mentioned guidelines to break up with someone in a respectful manner.