Breakup by its name is a terrifying thing. To break up with someone means to cut off someone who is or was very close to your heart. Most of the time breakup is not a very easy thing to do and the breakup scene appears to be ugly. For some people, it is a relief and for some, it is a pain. In this article, we will discuss How to break up with someone.
If you are the one at the relief end then maybe it would bother you how things end and how the whole breakup scene appears to be.
But if you are not happy with the breakup then it will be more difficult for you to end everything at once and for all.
This is where you need guidance and assistance in getting it over without causing any more damage or in other words doing it respectfully.
The reasons for the breakup could be many but ending it well is what we are focused on here.
How To Break Up With Someone
Let’s look for ways on how to break up with someone.
Be Clear And Know Your Reasons
The first thing to do before breaking up is to know the exact reason behind this decision of yours.
What are the main factors behind it?
Are those factors unsolvable?
Why you are making this decision?
Are you taking this decision consciously?
Are you ready for all kinds of responses?
These are the questions that you need to ask yourself. You have got to be very honest with yourself about these questions. Getting answers would help you take further decisions.
If you still decide to go with the breakup decision then at least now you can think about the further plan to deal with it.
Prepare The Words And Think Of All Possible Reactions
Now comes the stage where you decide what you want to say. The words shouldn’t be harsh neither be unclear.
The message should reach the other person clearly yet it shouldn’t sound loud or nasty.
Avoid using the taunting tone of the blame game.
May your partner respond very aggressively but you have to keep your calm, this is what here you are getting prepared for.
(In the heading “What to say to break up with someone” ways are elaborated)
The reaction of your partner could be sad, angry, may cry, and may give you F*** word, or may feel relieved.
You have to be prepared for all kinds of reactions.
Intentions Matter! Do Let Them Know Your Intentions
Let them know the reason behind your decision and that it has nothing to do with their personality or physical being.
Tell them that what things made you fond of them and that they never should change those personality traits.
E.g. you can say “I have put forward my reasons for taking this step, it has nothing to do with you.
You are such a nice and genuine person. Your honesty and sweetness are remarkable. Never change your personality, especially for anyone else.”
This will give them a bit of relief and may their anger or sadness lower down a bit. And in the long run, this thing will give them the courage to move forward in life.
Tell The Truth
You must tell your partner the truth behind taking the decision of breaking up.
No matter how hard and sensitive it is. It is the way you will say it, will cover up for you.
You have to choose the words very consciously and they shouldn’t be hurtful.
The example could be like, “See Siera, I know you are mad at me, I believe it is your right to know the reason behind this decision.
You and I have different personalities and we want different things in life. I fear I may not be supportive of your choices and that would make me feel bad.
I want you to achieve everything you want in life. It’s just that you do this without me, for good reasons. Hope you understand.”
This is how you can say your thoughts without being harsh.
Discuss It With Someone You Trust
If you need someone to discuss your decision you must should. But do choose someone you can trust.
The one who will not let your partner know about your feelings and plan before you tell him/her directly.
You can talk to your best friend, your mother/father, or your siblings.
Sharing your feelings will help you getting lighter inside your heart. Your confidant by your side will make this procedure a bit easier to go through and would help you in the recovery period as well.
You can take advice from them as well if you want to. Or just have them to console you.
Do Break Up In Person
Another very important point to keep in mind is to break up in person. Don’t do it over a phone call or over a text message.
Meet him/her personally and then say what you wanted to say.
It would be in the best interest of you both because this way you both would be able to understand each other’s points.
Doing it over text messages may cause miscommunication and it makes it difficult to know in what tone and sense the message gets conveyed.
Research shows that most of the fights happen due to the misconception of the tone in which it might be said.
The other person conceives something like a rude reply although it was just a simple reply.
Another important thing that you must consider is, not to do it in public. Don’t make such a mistake of breaking up at a public place.
It can be humiliating for both of you. So, choose a place where you both will feel comfortable talking openly and expressing properly.
Listen To Your Partner As Well
The one mistake that most people make is, after breaking up they don’t listen to their partner’s outburst.
They just try to cut out all the connections and don’t allow their partner to express their feelings, whether it is anger, shouting, crying, or anything.
You have to allow your partner to say whatever they want to. This will help you both get the closure and to move on in life. Surely not instantly but at least in the peace of mind.
Don’t Put Yourself Into A Difficult Conversation With Your Partner
Putting yourself at the hotspot will cause problems for you. Don’t get indulged in deep and difficult conversations that you may regret afterwards.
Also don’t disrespect your partner. Neither at the time of breakup nor after the breakup.
Don’t gossip and backbite about him/her. You don’t have to be all positive about your ex but no need to be negative as well.
Give It A Proper Closure
Don’t leave the things open-ended. Give it a proper closure.
It will become more difficult for you if you will leave the things open-ended or would accidentally leave some hopes behind for your ex.
Make sure that you end things properly and there may remain no ambiguity about your final decision.
Use clear words. The words that deliver a clear message rather than using double meaning words.
Say it like “So it is over for us. Wish you the best for your future. Bye” rather than saying it like “I guess it’s time to say bye. Hope to see you again someday.”
What To Say To Break Up With Someone
Another very important question that many people ask is what to say, what words to choose, which way to adopt to break up with someone.
Let’s look into it.
Start the conversation
Start the conversation by saying, you have to talk about something important. You can use the positive things in the initial stage of chat. The things you value or like about the other person.
You can say “We have spent some really good time together and it is important to me”
Or “I am glad that we got to know each other.”
“The time we have spent together is something I will always cherish.”
Now tell him/her what went wrong (the reason behind breaking up)
You can say “But right now I am not ready to be in a serious relationship”
“But there are more fights then the love, which we once had.”
“ I cannot even think of being in a relationship with someone who has cheated on me. “
“But there is someone else.”
To confess that you want to break up, say:
“I don’t think I can continue this relationship”
“I want to end our relationship”
“We can stay friends, but I cannot go out with you anymore”
“I don’t want to be your GF/BF, but we can be friends”
Tell him/her you are sorry and you know it hurts
“I didn’t intend to hurt you”
“ So I am sorry if this hurts you”
“I am sorry if you didn’t want things to go this way”
“It is not easy for me as well, but this is the right decision.”
“I understand it’s not easy to hear this”
Say a positive or kind thing:
“I know it will be all fine in some time”
“I am happy that I got a chance to be with you, to know you.”
“You are such a kind and nice person, you will find someone you will love forever.”
“I know we will be there for each other in hard times”
“I know God has planned something better for you.”
Listen to what they have to say and don’t be impatient or short-tempered
Don’t be surprised if they get upset or angry with you.
After the breakup cut all your contacts with your ex, if not forever then at least for some time till you both get over each other.
Being in contact would help you in moving on but will keep you hooked up for each other.
So, cut down all your connections with your ex and give yourself some time to see forward in life.
Breaking up is a hard thing to do. But if it is not done right or on the good notes then it hurts even more. Use the above-mentioned guidelines to break up with someone in a respectful manner. The ways are also elaborated for your convenience.
Have a nice day!