It is natural that one thing or another, one way or another something is going to bother you. Whether it’s your due exams, office presentation, relationship status, a failed marriage, or what to make for dinner. Everything has its own strain and worry. Everything bothers you in its own way.
Now some people get affected by things or events more than others. Every little thing bothers them so much that they get anxious and stressed about it. Not everything you go through is worth a shot. Sometimes it’s perfectly fine to let go of things and move on.
How To Not Let Things Bother You
Today we are focused upon the topic of how to not let things bother you. Let’s look into the tactics that can help you not to get bothered by everything you encounter.
Over-imagination or over-thinking kills. It not only kills the positive vibes from a relationship but also kills the whole relationship.
Those who do not know when and where to stop their thought process. And could not realize that what was true and from where onwards they started to make up things in their heads by themselves.
This thing leads towards the destruction of your peace of mind and also makes you tensed, depressed, and anxious.
We over assume the situation and think that it must be exactly the way we are assuming it.
E.g. you went to a family dinner last night and there your cousins were talking about the movie they saw together but they knew you didn’t like to talk about action movies.
So, upon your arrival, they stop talking and changed the topic that was quite obvious.
You didn’t know what they were talking about but you instead of inquiring started to assume.
You thought they were talking about you, maybe the dress you were wearing, maybe it was outdated that is why they were commenting on you.
Or you start thinking that they were hiding something from you, they don’t tell you everything, they have cornered you and they don’t like you anymore. Ahhh.
See this is what overthinking do to you. Over-assumption can make you think negative and you start believing it as well. So, always avoid overthinking.
How to avoid over-assumption?
- You can confirm your doubt at the spot, to avoid any assumptions and thoughts that you would pour into your head afterward.
- You can assume positive. Yes, this is also possible. Instead of thinking about that they hate you or they don’t tell you anything. You can think of that maybe they were done talking about whatever they were talking, that is why they stopped when I reached. Or you can think as they were talking to me perfectly fine, their behavior with me was as friendly as it has always been so I should just ignore what they did when I went to them.
- These positive thoughts can keep your peace of mind and can make you feel satisfied and focused on productive things.
Stop Imagining About The Future
We human beings like to think about the future and to get worried about it. Why can’t we just live in the present and enjoy it?
We let your future related thoughts bother us and make us all worried about what is gonna happen.
- Am I going to achieve all my dreams or not
- Will I be able to become a successful engineer or not
- Would she marry me or not
- What if I failed to score good grades?
- And so on.
These thoughts bother you and affect your present enjoyable days as well.
What To Do?
- You should have to understand that you cannot change your future. Instead, you can make your present better.
- You should learn to enjoy and celebrate the present moments. It doesn’t mean to stop working on your future and waste your present by partying and enjoying it. It means to work hard to achieve your goals and stay focused instead of thinking about the outcomes and getting worried about them already.
- Cherish every moment. Know the worth of your time and energy.
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Know What Cannot Be Controlled
It is very important to get your thoughts into position. To know and realize what is in your hands and what is beyond your power.
The biggest mistake that we make is that we try to make things right and according to our wishes without realizing whether they can be changed or not. It’s like trying to teach the fish to live on the earth.
The minute you will be able to know, realize, and judge that what you can do and what is not even in your power than half of your worries will vanish away.
How To Work Upon It?
Take an example. You are going to your college and you know that you are already a bit late and the distance from your home to college is 30minutes. There is no other way that can get you in the college before 30 minutes. Then why worry?
The damage is done now you cannot make it right by taking stress and tension. Can taking tension and stress will get you to the college earlier? No!
Then relax and look around. Try to divert your attention from the distance and start preparing yourself for the teacher’s hot temper.
And believe me in 80% of cases you get by it without going through the teacher’s hot temper.
This is just one example. You can apply the same rule in other situations as well where you know that things/situations/circumstances are out of your control. Stop bothering them
Distraction is the key. Try to distract yourself. Watch movies, go for a walk, call a friend, plan a trip, cook, sleep, or eat or discuss your worry with someone.
Whatever works for you, go for it. Sitting alone and getting bothered by something uncontrollable is just torture to your own self. If you care about yourself then identify the problem and work upon it accordingly.
Forgiveness Can Help You Move On
How to not let things bother you. If someone has committed some mistake that hurt you so bad.
But now they are asking for forgiveness. It is not easy for you to forgive them but isn’t it just making your situation worse and worse? Holding on to some grudge or not forgiving someone on their mistakes even when they have apologized or have got their punishment.
Learn to forgive but do learn your lesson. “Never get slapped by the same person twice”. This example says it all.
Learn your lesson, remember what happened to you and why it happened to you. You forgive the other person but become cautious for the future.
How To Let Go?
- You can ask them to apologize if they haven’t apologized yet. You can say directly or can show them that you are hurt (by your actions). Do all this by the intention of forgiving them. Not because you didn’t want to forgive them.
- When your anger calms down, look into the whole perspective clearly, and realize and judge who was on the mistake and whether it was all their fault or you were also the part of it. Analyze and then decide.
- Don’t jump on to the conclusions. Let the other person clear their side of perspective as well.
- If they have got their punishment even before apologizing from you then you should forgive them.
- Remember forgiveness will make you a better and bigger person. But always let the other person know and realize that their words or actions hurt you. So to make them guilty about their mistake and to make them care for future events.
- You should not forget that everyone can make mistakes and if you were at their spot you could have also made the mistake. The realization that human beings do make mistakes and expecting to get forgiven on your mistakes is what makes it easier for you to forgive others.
Optimism Is Better Than Pessimism
Those who are always doubtful and suspicious are the ones that get bothered by every little detail.
Once you have done your work and it’s the show time than try to be optimistic instead of being pessimistic.
This can affect your confidence and the effect can be seen in the performance as well.
Always think positive and expect the best but be prepared for the worst as well.
To expect the best and to be prepared for the worst can make you more confident and strong and you seem ready to face everything that comes in your way.
How To Prepare Yourself?
- First of all, do all the hard work or smart work (whatever is required) to get prepared for the showcase.
- Then once everything is prepared and ready, get your hopes high and confidence just on line.
- But at the same time get prepared for the worst-case scenario as well.
- Spread the positive energy around and if someone is tensed give them some positivity as well. Help them out or just tell them that everything will be perfect.
- You will see when you will be connecting the positive vibes only the atmosphere will become positive and harmony and peace will be there in the air.
(The tips we are giving here are for every situation, it is not solely connected to some office project. But also when you are dealing with someone in your personal life as well you should perform your 100% in it and then expect the good and positive results. But at the same time be prepared for something unexpected to happen as well.)
Write Down What Bothers You
Write down what bothers you. It could be one thing or it could be a long list of things. You can write them down as you recall them or you can intentionally work on them one by one. How you want to take it is up to you but what matters here is to “start working on it”.
Writing down the things bothering you and sorting out the reasons, need, and the outcome is very important for you to stop letting things bother you in the future.
How To Do It?
- First of all, take a pen and a paper and sit somewhere peaceful and silent.
- List down the things that bother you. Generally or with high intensity. It is up to you if you want to write them down all at once or you want to put one by one but remember you are going to work on one at a time.
- After making the list pick out your first problem and write it on the new page.
- Now see how it bothers you?
- Then why does it bother you?
- Is it something you can do for it to get resolved? Then what is stopping you from resolving/sorting it?
- do you require outside help?
- Is it that difficult to confront?
- You are just being lazy
- or any other?
(Choose your right answer and proceed with it until you reach towards the solution)
- Is it something out of your power? Then why are you taking all the misery and stress?
- Do you like being in stress?
- You’re taking the tension will help resolve the problem?
- You can’t help it?
- Or any other
(Choose the right option that compliments your situation and work upon it until you make a plan to move on)
(Note: if you choose the option “c” then read the point “Know what cannot be controlled” from above)
- Once you reach the solution for your one problem that was bothering you, you can move to the next one and repeat the questions.
- Remember work on one problem at a time/ one problem a day.
How to not let things bother you is not necessarily easy always but it is definitely possible. It may require your own efforts or some outside help but you can get it sorted only when you want to.
Have a good day!