Why Am I So Angry – All You Want To Know

Why am I so angry? The feeling of anger, A Mental Health issue? How to get a hold of anger.

Anger is an emotion people usually experience from time to time throughout their lives. However, for some people, anger can get out of control and cause problems with their work, relationship, law, or quality of life. If anger is left unresolved for an extended period, it can cause health problems such as depression, feeling of anxiety, high blood pressure, or even heart disease. So, it is important for a person who is suffering from anger (not only long-term) should deal with it in a healthy way that doesn’t cause harm to you or anyone else.

Why Am I So Angry    

Anger is somewhat like a bodily reaction, which helps protect us from dangers or threats through the ” Fight, Flight, or Freeze” system. But, leaving anger unresolved for some time can even cause a harmful impact on health. American Psychological Association says in older adults, anger has links with inflammation, leading to chronic diseases.

Is It Common To Have Anger Issues?  

In the survey by the Mental Health Foundation, there were 32% of people claimed that they have a close friend or family member who has problems controlling their anger, and 28% said, they are worried about how angry they feel sometimes.

Research from 2015 shows in the United States, 7.8% of the general population suffered from lifetime regularity of intense, inappropriate, or poorly controlled anger.

It has been noted that anger affects men more than women with more uniformity among younger adults.

In the Mental Health Foundation’s survey, it was found that most of the people who have anger-controlling issues don’t ask for help. 58% of the people said that they didn’t even know where to seek advice from.

Some people don’t realize that they have anger problems that trouble themselves or others, instead, they may think that other people or things have issues instead.

why i am so angry

Visible Signs Of Anger

  • Shouting, yelling, screaming
  • Crying
  • Pace out
  • Becoming abusive and even hitting
  • Act sarcastic
  • Start alcohol drinking or use other addictive substances

Hidden Symptoms Of Anger

The signs of anger vary from person to person.

  • Increase in heart pulse rate
  • The feeling of warmness
  • Excessive sweating
  • Churning stomach
  • Tension in muscles and tightness of the chest
  • Feelings of shakiness and trembling even getting faint 
  • Grinding of teeth and jaws

Reasons Why Am I So Angry

Anger can be caused by either external or internal events. Your anger can be caused by a specific person (such as a coworker, supervisor, or friend), due to some event (like a traffic jam, canceled flight, or loss in business), or because of worrying or brooding too much about your personal problems. Angry feelings can also be triggered by some memories or traumatic events that happened in your life. There are many things that make us feel angry, including:

  • You are mistreated, and you feel powerless to do anything about it.
  • Other people do not respect your feelings, authority, or property and you are trying to achieve your goal but get interrupted.
  • You feel threatened or attacked by someone or something.
  • When you feel like you have been deceived by someone.
  • You feel physical or psychological pain.
  • You feel uneasy/uncomfortable under certain temperatures/weather.
  • Anger can also be caused by feelings of grief. Many people suffer from anger when they are dealing with the loss of someone close to them (like a close friend, partner, or family member).

Expressing Your Anger – Why Am I So Angry

Instinctively, the natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. The natural adaptive response to threats in anger develops powerful, most aggressive feelings or behaviors, which allow a person to defend themselves or fight when attacked. For survival, a certain amount of anger is, therefore, necessary.

Having said that, Physically, we can’t turn on every person or object that annoys or irritates us. There are laws, social norms, and common sense that place limits on how far we can take our anger. To deal with their anger, people use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes. Three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming.

1- Expressing

Expressing your feeling of anger in an assertive-non-aggressive manner is the healthiest way to show your angry feelings. What needs to be done is you have to learn how to make precise what your needs are and how you can obtain them without hurting others in the process. Being assertive means being respectful to others, and to yourself, it doesn’t mean being demanding or pushy.

2- Suppressing

By suppressing anger, it can be converted or redirected. You can do it by holding on to your anger, stopping thinking about it, and focusing on something positive. The goal here is to suppress or inhibit your anger and convert/ redirect it into constructive behavior.

Suppressing your feelings can have an adverse effect on your health, if you contain your anger and can’t convert it into something positive, or if it isn’t allowed outward expression, it can turn inward (on yourself). This might cause high blood pressure, depression, or hypertension. If anger is left unexpressed, it can create other problems. It can lead to an unreasonable expression of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior. Instead of confronting people directly, one can get back at people indirectly without telling them why.

There are people who haven’t learned how to express their anger, they are the people who are always putting others down, making sarcastic comments, and criticizing everything. Such people aren’t likely to have many successful relationships.

3- Calming

Calming not just means controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, let the feelings subside. Dr. Spielbrger notes, “When none of these three techniques work, that’s when someone or something is going to get hurt.”

angry woman

Effects of Anger On The Mind And Body

The after-effects of anger again vary from person to person.

  • Feelings of regret and guilt
  • Nervousness, anxiousness, and restlessness
  • Feelings of sadness and irritation even depression

Why Am I So Angry – How To Manage Your Anger?

Here are some techniques that will help you with anger control. these are very simple and easy techniques. Hope you will get help in managing your anger.

1- Look out for the signs and symptoms of anger

Looking out for the signs of anger and knowing that a particular situation can make you angry can help you prepare for it and consciously control your anger. You must understand what triggers and signs appear as you become angry. Control your anger consciously and make your mind clear that you don’t want to create a situation you will resent afterward.

2- Think before the reaction

Never react abruptly. Always look at your words and know what you are going to say and what kind of effects it’s going to have on you and on others. Keeping in mind the result of your words can help you sort out the words in a better way.

3- Start counting backward

To start counting backward from 10 to 1 or from 100 can help you reduce the intensity and level of anger

4- Release of body tension

Release the body tension by loosening of jaws, relaxing the shoulders, and uncrossing the legs and arms. Doing a little exercise by moving the shoulders backward and stretching the neck on both sides.

why i am so angry

5- Exercise

Do exercise, especially cardiovascular. Cycling, running, or swimming helps in the release of energy that can have the tendency of becoming aggressive if kept in the body.

6-Listen before reacting

Listen to the other person before reacting. This practice is not that easy, but if you make up your mind understand that listening to the other person for the sake of understanding can help you sort out the problem without getting angry. The mistake we make and letting the anger take us over is that we listen for the sake of reacting not to understand. So always listen and understand the emotions of other people before lashing out.

7- Use the following techniques

  • If you are standing then sit down
  • If you are sitting, then lay down
  • Drink a glass of water gradually while sitting
  • Take a deep breath and let your muscles relax.

8- Distract yourself from negative thoughts

Distract yourself by dancing, listening to music, watching a comedy movie, or taking a long bath.

Try to make your thoughts positive by thinking about the positive aspect of the situation. When you are angry, the situation seems much worse than it actually is. So, try to distract yourself for the time being and then react when the anger is calmed down.

9- Treatments for anger management

You can consult a counselor, or take psychotherapy, anger management sessions, or cognitive behavioral therapy. All these treatments are used for dealing with anger and its management.

Further Readings


Anger management is possible, you just have to know the reasons behind your anger aggravation. And how to alleviate its graph. Do let us know which technique worked for you in dealing with anger. Stay cool, stay calm.