I am a Loser! I am worth nothing! Why am I such a loser?! I am not good at anything!
These are the most common phrases that you listen to from a person who has just lost his/her faith in themselves.
It is quite evident and natural as well that at one point or another a person feels as if they are losing it all or they are being a loser in life.
When a person is having self-doubts (which could happen to anyone) then they start to feel lesser of themselves.
They become unable to see what they are capable of. Their thought process is shadowed by other’s thinking, believes, opinions, and life.
Reasons Why Am I Such A Loser
Today in this article we will discuss certain thoughts, actions, and beliefs that a person is having. When he/she comes to a point to say “Why am I such a loser” and how to erase this “tag”. Here are some possible reasons behind considered oneself a loser.
1- You Over Empathize Situations
You over empathize situations means that you are unable to recognize your achievements.
To you one failure is everything. You lose hope so easy and so soon.
One bad day, one failure, one loss overshadow all your previous achievements, previous happily spent days, and times of peace and confidence.
You are more prone to generalizing your negative thoughts rather than remembering the positive things you ever did.
So, to calm down the inner volcano.
- Now how to stop yourself from not feeling like a loser?
- Have you ever done something in life that was appreciated by others? Moreover, you felt good about that?
- Was that even YOUR fault or it was just a bad time?
- Have you ever helped someone? Solved someone’s problem? Been there for someone in need? Did something that made your parents happy? Did something that brought peace to your mind?
- What were your intentions while doing this task, thing, deed?
Ask yourself these questions. Remember of the good times, deeds rather than just blaming yourself right away!
2- You Think Of Life In One Perspective
There are times when you are passionate about something and have put up all your efforts and all your energy in making that a success.
And when if it falls apart or doesn’t meet the expectations then you think of yourself as a loser.
You just forget about everything else around you and feel disappointed in yourself.
What you have to do is to look around yourself. There is your family, your parents, siblings, friends, Children, Spouse, your job, career, studies.
Let’s take an example: you prepared well for your exams but your marks were not up to the mark or to say “as expected”.
You become so disappointed that you start to feel like a loser and get badly disturbed that you start cursing your life.
But here what you need to remember and realize is that you have other things as well in life.
Where you perform so brilliantly and are successful. Like you take care of your parents’ needs, you help your siblings with their problems, you are there for your Friends, etc. Look it in the other perspective as well!
3- You Forget About Your Achievements
Llet your emotions ruin everything for you. You lose hope easily. Your one failure takes you to the verge where you forget all your previous achievements.
All you need to do is to make a list of all your achievements no matter how long or short the list is.
And have it on your wall or on your cupboard’s door.
This will keep you motivated and will remind you that you are worth something and you really are not a loser!
Secondly, you need to compare yourself to the people who are less privileged and are lower to you in status, money, happiness, relationships. This is not to take pride in or feel superior but to make yourself feel thankful for the blessings and achievements you have.
4- You Are Made To Feel Like A Loser
It is a very evident and experienced fact that in most of the cases where a person feels like a loser is because his/her friends are letting them feel this way.
Friends play a very vital role in life and you cannot deny their importance in life. There are very few lucky people who get such friends who are loyal to them and are there for them whenever they are in need.
The friends who are like hey you can’t do this, you are so pathetic at this, you can’t find a good boy/girl, you are good at nothing, for once in your life get something done right.
The list can go on and on but I believe the point has been made clear to you.
All you have to do is to realize that your friends are not true to you. They are consciously or unconsciously making you feel less of yourself.
And then all you need is to find a true, loyal, and honest friend who encourages you when it’s needed and tells you, your value.
5- You Compare Yourself With Others
A person who feels him/herself as a loser is mostly because they are comparing themselves with others.
This is where you’re downfall starts. Never compare yourself to others it’s really not worth it.
God has made everyone with their own unique traits, by comparing ourselves with others is such an insult to our innate trait that we all are gifted with.
All we have to do is to look for those innate potential that we are gifted with and should start working in that direction.
Once we get to know what we are made for, life will become more exciting and fun to live.
6- You Have Extreme Moods
You are extreme in your emotions.
If you are happy you are very happy like anything and if you are angry then you forget everything in it.
Emotional balance is very important.
You have to meditate, you need to take out time for yourself and think thoroughly.
Even if it’s just for 10 to 15 minutes but on a daily basis do the analysis of your day and how it went.
See for the things you did right and things that went wrong and why.
This will really help you through your life management and as well as your anger management.
7- You Are Not Mentally Prepared For A Negative Outcome
This point really is important because when something happens against your expectations then it becomes really hard to accept and digest that shock.
This unpreparedness can lead to shock and that can break one’s confidence and self-esteem harshly.
Here we need to make sure that we expect and perform our best but at the same time, we must always be prepared for the worst.
Because sometimes life is in the mood of taking your test and all you were expecting was the results.
8- You Think In A Box
A person becomes hopeless when he/she is thinking in a nutshell.
When a person is looking at the things, situations, and happenings just from his/her eyeball then definitely the disappointments happen.
You see your failure as the end of the world.
You don’t realize that what happened was having some hidden meaning in it and it was for your own betterment.
I would like to add an example here to make this point clear. A Pakistani actor once said that
“I had a lot of expectations from my film Rangreza, I was quite confident that It will be a success in the box office.
But when it failed to meet our expectations and failed to get the desired outcome I left everything for one year and went back to my foster home.
Now I am very thankful to God that It didn’t work well because If it would have been then I would become so proudly and egoistic.
But its failure has thought me a huge lesson and has made me a more humble and down to earth person”.
This shows that sometimes life is trying to give us something bigger in failure than we could ever get through success.
So always be grateful for want you have and always think through things from a bigger and deeper perspective.
9- You Quit Before Time
You are a loser if you quit before time. There are people who are can achieve a lot in life but couldn’t because of their haste.
We all have heard of that phrase “slow and steady wins the race”. Life is like that.
We have to keep pace and keep moving. The world is not going to stop for us, we have to catch it up.
Practice and consistency are what make you the master of your art. Those who lose hope after one failure, are never going to succeed. as failure is a pathway towards success.
How To Overcome Being feeling Of Loser
Sometimes we are so much exhausted and disappointed in life that we reach a point where we need professional help in the form of counseling.
Today’s life is so fast, robotic, and artificial that people literally have gone insane and have lost all the sense of what to do and what to say.
People around us could be so demeaning and so hurting with their words that they don’t even realize how badly they have hurt someone.
In a world where social media is all around.
People have become so fake and materialistic that someone’s feelings and emotions are worthless for them.
In this haunting era, every second person is in need of professional help to help them out with mental and emotional stability.
There is no shame in it. If you feel like having professional assistance then always go with your guts.
3 Minutes Exercise To Eliminate all your thoughts on being a loser.
This is a very easy yet very effective exercise. All you have to do is to follow these easy steps.
- Sit in a quiet place. ( could be anywhere as long as you find peace and silence there)
- Start breathing three times consciously then take a break. Then take a deep breath (filling your belly with air) then exhale.
- Repeat this for 1 to 3 minutes, replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. Cancel all the negative thoughts or impressions immediately and visualize the ideal outcome.
This exercise will give you instant positivity, motivation, encouragement, and all your negative thoughts will be eliminated.
You can repeat this exercise whenever you feel like it. It will open your mind and this is the best time (time just after the exercise) to plan for whatever was bothering you.
You May Find It Helpful
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- Signs Your Family Doesn’t Care About You
Life is short. It’s short enough that if you will keep on thinking about why am I such a loser then it will keep on slipping from your hands.
If you feel like that then get up and find the reason behind it.
We have elaborated in detail the reasons why someone feels like a loser and what could be done to overcome this feeling.
Now it’s your turn to read and act upon it.
Enjoy life before it melts out of your hand. Don’t forget that it’s short enough to be taken for granted!