Why am i such a loser

Why Am I Such A Loser – 9 Logical Reasons

I am a Loser! I am worth nothing! Why am I such a loser?! I am not good at anything! These are the most common phrases you listen to a person who has just lost his/her faith in himself. It is quite evident and natural at one point or another a person feels as if he is losing it all or being a loser in life. When a person is having self-doubts (which can happen to anyone) then he starts to feel lesser of himself. He is unable to see what he is capable of. His thought process is shadowed by others’ thinking, beliefs, opinions, and life. 

Reasons Why Am I Such A Loser

There are certain thoughts, actions, and beliefs that a person is having. When he/she comes to a point to say “Why am I such a loser” and how to erase this “tag”. Here are some possible reasons behind considering oneself a loser.

1- You Over Empathize Situations

You over empathize with situations means you are unable to recognize your achievements. One failure is everything for you. You lose hope very easily and soon. One bad day, one failure, one loss overshadow all your previous achievements, previous happily spent days, and times of peace and confidence. You are more prone to generalizing your negative thoughts rather than remembering the positive things you ever did.

So, to calm down the inner volcano. Now how to stop yourself from not feeling like a loser?

  • Have you ever done something in life that was appreciated by others? Moreover, do you feel good about that?
  • If something happened bad, that was not your fault, it was just a bad time
  • Have you ever helped someone? Solved someone’s problem? Been there for someone in need? Did something that made your parents happy? Did something that brought peace to your mind?
  • What were your intentions while doing this?

Ask yourself these questions. Remember the good times, and deeds rather than just blaming yourself right away!

2- You Think About Life In One Perspective

There was a time when you were passionate about something and put up all your efforts and energy into making it a success. If it fails apart or doesn’t meet the expectations then you think of it as a loser. You just forget everything else around you and feel disappointed in yourself. What you have to do is to look around. There are your family, your parents, siblings, friends, Children,  Spouse, job, career, and studies.

Let’s take an example: you prepared well for your exams but your marks were not up to the mark or to say “as expected”. You become disappointed, and you start to feel like a loser. You are badly disturbed and you start cursing your life. In this situation, you need to remember and realize you also have other things in life. Where you perform so brilliantly and are successful. Like you take care of your parent’s needs, you help your siblings with their problems, you are there for your Friends, etc. Look it from the other perspective as well!

3- You Forget About Your Achievements

You lose hope easily. Your one failure takes you to the verge where you forget all your previous achievements. All you need to make a list of all your achievements, no matter how long or short the list is, and have it on your wall or cupboard’s door. This will keep you motivated and remind you are worth something and are not a loser!

Secondly, you need to compare yourself to the people who are less privileged and are lower than you in status, money, happiness, and relationships. This is not to take pride in or feel superior but to make yourself feel thankful for the blessings and achievements you have. 

4- You Are Made To Feel Like A Loser

It is quite evident and experienced fact in most cases where a person feels like a loser because his/her friends are letting him feel this way. Friends play a vital role in life and someone cannot deny their importance in life. There are very few lucky people who have very loyal friends and are there for them whenever they are in need. The friends who are alike, hey! you can’t do this, you are so pathetic at this, you can’t find a good boy/girl, you are good at nothing. The list can go on and on but I believe the point has been made clear to you. All you have to realize is that your friends are not true to you. They are consciously or unconsciously making you feel less of yourself. All you need is to find a true, loyal, and honest friend who encourages you when it’s needed and tells you, your value.

a girl holding her forehead

5- You Compare Yourself With Others

A person who feels him/herself is a loser is mostly when he is comparing himself with others. This is where your downfall starts. Never compare yourself to others it’s really not worth it. God has made everyone with his own unique traits, comparing ourselves with others is such an insult to our innate traits that we all are gifted with. All we have to do is to look for those innate potentials we are gifted with and should start working in that direction. Once we get to know what we are made for, life will become more exciting and fun to live.

6- You Have Extreme Moods

Yes! it’s true. You are extreme in your emotions. If you are happy then you are very happy and if you are angry then you forget everything in it. Emotional balance is very important. You have to meditate, you need to take out time for yourself and think thoroughly. Even if it’s just for 10 to 15 minutes but on a daily basis do the analysis of your day and how it went. Look for the things you did right and things that went wrong and why. This will really help you through your life management as well as your anger management.

why am i such a loser

7- You Are Not Mentally Prepared For A Negative Outcome

This is a very important point because when something happens against your expectations then it becomes really hard to accept and digest that shock. This unpreparedness can lead to anxiety and can break one’s confidence and self-esteem harshly. Here we need to make sure that we expect and perform our best but at the same time, we must always be prepared for the worst. Because sometimes life is in the mood of taking your test and all you were expecting was the results.

8- You Think In A Box

A person becomes hopeless when he/she is thinking in a nutshell. When a person is looking at the things, situations, and happenings just from his/her eyeball then definitely disappointments happen. You see your failure as the end of the world. You don’t realize that what happened was having some hidden meaning in it and it was for your own betterment. I would like to add an example here to make this point clear. A Pakistani actor once said that

 “I had a lot of expectations from my film Rangreza, I was quite confident that It will be a success in the box office. But when it failed to meet our expectations and failed to get the desired outcome. I left everything for one year and went back to my foster home. Now I am very thankful to God that It didn’t work well because If it would have been then I will become so proudy and egoistic. But its failure has thought me a huge lesson and made me a more humble and down to earth person”.

This shows sometimes life is trying to give us something bigger in failure than we cannot get through success. So always be grateful for what you have and always think through things from a bigger and deeper perspective.

9- You Quit Before Time

You are really a loser if you quit before time. There are people who can achieve a lot in life but couldn’t because of their haste. We all heard of the phrase “slow and steady wins the race”. Life is like that. We have to keep pace and keep moving. The world is not going to stop for us, we have to catch it up. Practice and consistency are what make you the master of your art. Those who lose hope after one failure, are never going to succeed. as failure is a pathway toward success. 

How To Overcome Being feeling Of a Loser

Sometimes we are exhausted and disappointed in life and we reach a point where we need professional help in the form of counseling. Today’s life is so fast, robotic, and artificial that people literally become insane and lost all sense of what to do and what to say. People around us could be so demeaning and so hurting with their words that they don’t even realize how badly they have hurt someone.

In a world where social media is all around. People become so fake and materialistic that someone’s feelings and emotions are worthless to them. In this haunting era, every second person is in need of professional help, to help them out with mental and emotional stability. There is no shame in it. If you feel like having professional assistance then always go for your mental peace.

a girl in a crowd

3 Minutes Exercise To Eliminate all your thoughts on being a loser.

This is a very easy yet very effective exercise. All you have to do is to follow these easy steps.

  1. Sit in a quiet place. ( could be anywhere as long as you find peace and silence there)
  2. Start breathing three times consciously then take a break. Then take a deep breath (filling your belly with air) then exhale.
  3. Repeat this for 1 to 3 minutes, and replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. Cancel all negative thoughts or impressions immediately and visualize the ideal outcome.

This exercise will give you instant positivity, motivation, and encouragement, and all your negative thoughts will be eliminated. You can repeat this exercise whenever you feel like it. It will open your mind and this is the best time (time just after the exercise) to plan for whatever was bothering you.

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Life is short. It’s short enough that if you will keep on thinking about why am I such a loser then it will keep on slipping from your hands. If you feel like then get up and find the reason behind it. I have elaborated in detail on the reasons why someone feels like a loser and what could be done to overcome this feeling. Now it’s your turn to read and act upon it. Enjoy life before it melts out of your hand. Don’t forget that it’s short enough to be taken for granted!