Motherhood is beautiful and becoming a mom is the best feeling in the world. When a child is born, a woman’s status is upgraded as a mother. You love your child unconditionally and it is effortless. You don’t have to make efforts to love your child it happens naturally and unconditionally but with love, care and affection come to the responsibility, upbringing pressure, and sacrifices. These responsibilities sometimes feel like a burden and a woman feels I hate being a mom.
Being a mom means being a mom as a priority. All you’re other commitments and other concerns become secondary. At least for the initial months of your child’s birth.
This is something, not every mom likes. Having a baby is beautiful and amazing but what comes with it, is not much desirable. You have to put yourself aside, your hangouts and get to gathers aside, can’t go out to spend your day alone, and can’t get a nap whenever you want. You have to schedule everything according to your baby’s routine and that makes you hate being a mom.
- 1 Reasons Of Why I Hate Being A Mom
- 2 How To Deal With Motherhood Blues
Reasons Of Why I Hate Being A Mom
Motherhood is not an easy job, it is a heavy responsibility you have to fulfill at any cost. A mother faces a lot of hardships and struggles for her children, in this rollercoaster life she is fed up and started to hate being a mom. Here is a list of possible reasons that can lead a mother to hate his motherhood.
1 ) Exhaustion
When a baby is born, the mother’s health also requires care and attention. The change in body conditions, delivery, and hormonal changes. Women go through a lot while delivering a child and soon after the baby is born all your attention and everyone else’s attention is taken by the baby. To feed your baby, to change baby’s diapers, to make him/her burp, to make him/her fall asleep. This all is done by the mother no matter even if she wants to do it or not. The routine continues and even if someone else is offering you help in your initial days after delivery, will not going to be there always.
There will come a time when you will be responsible for all the duties which are connected to your baby. No matter if you want to perform these or not. Moms can’t take a nap unless or until their baby is asleep no matter how sleepy they are. Being a mother is a 24/7 duty. A baby is a power machine. Fully charged all the time and to refill his batteries/energies, take a power nap.
On the other hand, mothers complete all their unfinished chores while the baby is asleep. The mothers do feel exhausted at times. They want someone else to change their baby’s diaper, they want someone else to make the baby fall asleep. After all, mothers are also human beings and they require a day off from their duties.
2 ) Disturbed Relationship
For some women being a mom is just being a mom. She forgets she is a wife as well. Sometimes she forgets and the other time her baby makes her forget. Babies don’t follow a fixed routine nor stop crying on your request. They are owners of their own life. The most disturbing relationship after having a baby is between husband and wife. The time you both used to spend before the birth of your child is just a dream now. You can’t go out on a date, can’t have a movie night peacefully, and can’t have a planned romantic night.
Sometimes it is understood by both the partners, that the baby is being noisy or isn’t sleeping, or is just in the mood of having fun. But sometimes the husbands get irritated and angry with the wife for not giving him proper time. Their personal space and time both are badly compromised after the birth of the baby. Which sometimes causes a disturbance in their relationship.
3 ) Loss Of Purpose And Individuality
Women hate being a mom because their own self is lost and all the dreams and goals they have in their mind seems to be getting unfulfilled. When you did not a mother, you tend to have a lot of dreams and goals in life. You want to achieve high and big in life. But once a baby is born to you, your purpose in life changes, and all your dreams and goals become secondary. Sometimes mothers sacrifice their dreams by themselves and sometimes the circumstances make them withdraw.
Although it’s not only you who cannot fulfill your dreams after having a baby but for some time (till the baby is young) many women have to let go of their dreams. Their own personality and individuality get lost. Their priority becomes the baby and its wellbeing. A mother doesn’t remember the last time she had a long relaxing bubble bath. Or when was the last time she spent her day just the way she wanted to? The purpose in life, your personality, and your individuality all have become secondary.
Note: Here we are talking about the majority of women who go through such circumstances. There exist some women who have such resources and circumstances where they spend their life just the way they want even after the birth of a baby.
4 ) Pressure Of Being The Perfect Mother
Some women hate being the mom because of the pressure they have on them of being the perfect mother. You cannot make mistakes with your child. The mother is supposed to be perfect. She cannot forget to change the baby’s diapers or to feed the baby just on time. Or if the child is grown up then you have to be the perfect example for them to follow and no mistakes are allowed on your part to be made. The mothers are the first ones to be blamed if a child misbehaves or isn’t obedient.
The husband asks the wife about what kind of socialization you are doing of a child if a child screams for no reason. Society puts unwanted pressure and blames the mother that she becomes the ultimate criminal. Human beings make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. No matter whether it is the mother or the child making the mistake.
The purpose should be to teach the child to accept their mistake and to learn from them and the mother should apologize if she makes some mistake to teach the child the right ways. Remember no way is the right way to take care of your child. Every child is different and there could be many ways to take care of the child. There is no universal rule.
5 ) Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression is what makes new moms hate being moms. Many women who are going through postpartum depression feel sad and upset about becoming a mother. Common symptoms are loss of appetite, loss of sleep, decreased libido, more fatigue, feeling of emptiness, mood swings, etc. The change in hormones after delivery leads to postpartum depression. But this does not last long usually.
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How To Deal With Motherhood Blues
Here are some suggestions that will help you out in dealing with motherhood. I hate being a mom is not a good attitude. One should have to overcome this emotion and turn this feeling into a positive attitude.
There must be someone close to you with whom you can talk about anything. A friend, your mother, or your siblings, Anyone. Talk your heart out. Tell them how you feel, what makes you go crazy, what happened last day etc. Share with them. This will help you feel lighter and you will feel refreshed. This will give you a sense of being loved and listened to. You can even talk to your husband as well. When a person keeps everything in her heart then the pressure keeps on building and this makes her feel low and exhausted. Have someone to whom you can talk about anything without being judged. Because when you share about your motherhood blues with someone it becomes very tricky not to be judged.
Take Some Time Out For Yourself
It is difficult to get time for yourself with a baby but not impossible. Pre-Plan and manage everything accordingly when you want to take out some time for yourself. E.g. If you plan to take a long relaxing bath someday then do all your other chores beforehand. Even if you have to do it with your baby by your side and once your baby takes the afternoon nap then go for the bath instantly. You can manage other things as well with a baby. All you have to do is to find a strategy to work upon. Expect the best but always be ready for the worst circumstances as well. This will save you from hustle and worry.
Forget The Perfection
Remember there is nothing perfection in motherhood. Do what you think is right and as go with it. There is no need to strive for making things or circumstances perfect for you or your baby. Let your child make the mistakes and let the imperfections come his/her way to make them ready for whatever comes their way.
You play your part and then leave it to your child. You can advise him, and guide him, but you cannot make your kids follow your instructions word by word. Let’s experience the world by themselves. One thing you must tell him is that you will always be on their side even if they will be at their worst. This will let him know that his mother will be out there for him even if no one else would be.
Mothers always love their children no matter what. But sometimes the conditions and situations are not in their favor and they end up hating being a mom. This feeling of hatred for being a mom is temporary and vanishes away once the circumstances are normal. Love your mothers and know their sacrifices for you. They give away more than you can think of, just for you and your happiness. I hope this article “I hate Being a Mom Will help you to love Being a Mom.
Respect and love for all the mothers!